*White chrysanthemums symbolize truth and loyalty*
One thing I noticed after failing to make progress in my inner development, was that I was not honest with myself. I really fooled myself into believing that I was over things and that I did not feel a certain way about some things when I really did. I know, I know, how is that possible? We are living as ourselves every day, that makes no sense! You should know yourself! While these statements and assumptions are valid, the truth is,
not all of us know who we really are, or I should say; Many of us don’t like to accept who we really are. Yeah, I’ll go with that.
What is that you ask? Well speaking from my personal revelations, I was somewhat ashamed of myself, I didn’t like the progress I was making in life, I didn’t feel like I was worthy of having something, subconsciously I keep comparing myself to others. And all these feelings I had were the main objects in my way, keeping me from progressing and being the type of person I know my Creator wants me to be. Honestly speaking, these feelings stemmed from what others thought about me or from what I thought they thought about me. Crazy huh!? Especially because I would be the first one to tell someone that they shouldn’t be concerned about what others think of you in respect to understanding who you are as a person, God created you to be unique and not like the other. Yet, I couldn’t take my own advice in this department. It’s always easier said, than done, huh?
That brings us to this question, Why is it so hard for us to take our own advice, and so easy to give it away? To answer that (in my opinion), I will say, that overall mankind likes to give solutions to others problems even if we don’t have the credentials to do so… *sips tea*…..Ma’am did you just say that?…….Yes, yes I did.
*Clears throat* that’s a whole different topic that we will talk about in a later post.
Once I realized that these were the stumbling blocks that were being set in front of me, making me afraid to be me. I started working on building my self-esteem and my confidence. I thank God for the prayers of my parents and the prayers of my grandparents and other saints apart of the Body of Christ that encouraged me growing up and planted the little seeds in me to know that I was purposefully created. I truly believe that what had kept me and had encouraged me to get to a better place, was the faith that I had in knowing that.
I then began to feel comfortable allowing my true personality to come forth. I wasn’t afraid to not be the person that others thought I should be because in my mind and heart I already decided to stop suppressing the personality that the Lord had blessed me to have. Because of God’s love and His grace, I know that I do not need to prove to anyone how much of a value I am because my God values me way more than any man ever could.
Stay tuned…. To Be Honest! Part 2: Where I Stand Currently? Comming soon.
Keep Smiling loves!